


Pointless Obsessions

by Runawynd



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Friendship/Love, Love Triangle, M/M, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-04-18
Updated: 2010-04-18
Packaged: 2017-11-04 20:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/397893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Runawynd/pseuds/Runawynd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm calling to ask you, Komui, if you're free tonight. You see, I'm here to strike a deal with you, Komui dear. Why don't you have dinner with me once a week? Your party is on a search for me, yes?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pointless Obsessions

**Chapter 1: 1 A Stranger's Odd Proposal**

* * *

_Ring ring!_

There was a click, as Chief Komui of the science division picked up the phone.

"Science division. This is Komui." His voice seemed only too happy to be there in the moment.

He would have used his normal "salesman-like" tone as he answered the phone; however, given that Reever had just finished chewing him out for slacking, acting was difficult.

"Komui, is that you? This is Cross." The familiar voice replied to the welcoming message.

"Cross?" He paused, as if trying to recall the name. When the information clicked in his mind, he nearly jumped off his seat, "Cross? We've been looking for you for WEEKS! Why are you call-?"

Before making further conversation with General Cross, Komui gestured towards his co-worker, Reever, to track the call.

"Yes, well, I'm not here on regards of work, actually. This is something else." Dramatically, the aristocrat slowed his tone of voice, carefully enunciating, "I'm calling to ask you, Komui, if you're free tonight."

"I-I beg your pardon?"

"You see, I'm here to strike a deal with you, Komui dear. Why don't you have dinner with me once a week? Your party is on a search for me, yes? I promise to show my face to you, then, once a week."

The confused Komui sat in his chair, while Reever, still tracking the call, listened nearby to the brief, yet awkward silence.

Scanning for advice, Komui looked upon the face of his blond-haired friend, hoping for any sign encouragement or disagreement to the strange proposal. Upon finding the face blank, he decided to make the choice for himself.

 _It can't be real. It must be a ruse of some sort; a sick joke._ Komui thought, desperately. _And why would he ask such an odd thing of me?_

"Well, what do you say?" Cross was growing impatient.

_I suppose it seems harmless enough..._

Turning his head back to the phone, the dark-haired man somewhat hesitantly responded, "I... I'll do it."

"Perfect! I'll send you the time and date via e-mail. It's been a pleasure, as always."

 _Click!_ The call was over.

"What was that about?" Reever was the first to speak up.

Exhausted, Komui slouched in his seat, taking a sip of cold coffee. "I have no idea..."

* * *

**Chapter 2: 2 Restless Feelings**

* * *

Sitting quietly at his computer, Komui Lee once again pressed the refresh key on his keyboard; anticipating the coming e-mail from Cross.

After work hours, his office was dark and lonely, but to the scientist, just the whirring of the computer's inner fan gave him enough sense of company.

His love lay in his work, after all.

After what seemed like the fiftieth click, the e-mail bounced in his inbox. "From General Cross Marian." Apparently, Cross had been discreet about things, because he had not typed a subject for the e-mail.

With the grace of a sharp-shooter, Komui impatiently clicked on the letter and read on.

But it seemed the he had not been alone during that time. _Flick!_ The lights flashed on, almost forcing the dark-haired man to cower as his eyes adjusted to change.

He whirled around to face the intruder. Reever.

As usual, Komui spoke first, "What're you doing here? It's late, Reever! And you need to work tomorrow!"

The man merely shrugged in response, when he strode over to Komui's computer.

Protectively, Komui minimized the e-mail screen. Although, after he did so, he wondered why he had. Reever was his best friend, after all. He could share anything with him, couldn't he?

"What's depriving YOU from your sleep right now?" The blond man asked, curiously. "Waiting for something?"

 _Mind-reader._ "I... well, it's the..." Komui hesitated. _Why am I hesitating? It's not like I have anything to hide from him!_ "It's the e-mail from Cross."

He pulled up the e-mail to let his friend read. He paused a moment, but then asked, "Tomorrow? At that bar, huh? I dunno, Komui..."

He sounded concerned. Usually, Reever maintained a sarcastic, almost cold attitude towards his co-worker, as was part of their bond of friendship. But observant as he was, Komui could distinguish a trace of protectiveness and genuine care coming from his friend.

And for some reason, that made him feel like he was on top of the world.

To console his worried friend, Komui grinned as he spoke, "Don't worry! I'm sure it'll be okay! Honestly, it's only dinner!"

Again, Reever shrugged, "Whatever floats your boat. I'm just saying that he..." Before ranting, the smart man cut himself off. "Well, whatever."

And with that, he left, leaving the confused - and once again alone - Komui to log off his computer.

* * *

Keeping himself busy, Komui was able to work the day away, which surprised Reever greatly. It seemed to him that he was eager - perhaps too eager - for the coming night.

Though, to him, it was only once a week. And yes, it could be harmless enough.

Cross seemed to act kindly towards Komui. He seemed to respect him, and respect was never a strong suit of the good General's. Not to say, though, that he treated Reever badly. That was certainly not the case.

But even though Reever was a lower class than both Komui and Cross, he knew full-well that Cross was a strange one. After all, the man was known to spend all his money on drinking, gambling, smokes, and women.

At least that much was a relief to Reever; women. Surely, General Cross had not fallen in love with his male friend...? That could, in essence, prove to be an issue to him.

Considering that Reever found himself falling in love with Komui, long before Cross made his first move.

* * *

**Chapter 3: 3 A Night Like Any Other, Right?**

* * *

"Good evening! You look charming tonight!"

Komui entered the nighttime restaurant-bar to be greeted by Cross, who was apparently early. Naturally, Komui Lee was late.

Adorned in his finest suit, Cross also sported a small rose attachment to match his red hair and eyes. The sharp-dressed gentleman even had his hair arranged neatly, giving him a sophisticated, yet sexy look.

Inadvertently comparing himself to Cross, Komui wondered how he could even consider himself to look nearly as handsome; for he was dressed only in his work clothes and hat. Yet, when Cross's eyes first landed upon his "date", he seemed pleased.

But perhaps the most interesting thing to Komui was that Cross was not wearing his mask that night.

"You're staring, dear. Am I a sight to behold?" The red-haired man teased.

"Eh? Ah, no, no, no. It's just that... I've never seen that other side of your face before. It's new." Komui did not want to appear shy to the other man, and so he stood his ground in honesty.

"I told you, this is a laid-back event for us. Am I right?"

For a brief moment, Komui pondered if he should question, then, why Cross was so dressed up. And why he seemed to be taking things seriously. But his common sense told him not to dig his own grave.

The two men were pulled aside to their table, which the ever-prepared Cross had previously made arrangements for. Everything on the table was made to match the general's precise and romantic style; red wine glasses already brought out, set carefully on the extravagantly decorated table, complete with a soft candlelight effect.

As Cross passed by the bewildered man to take his seat first, Komui could only stare at the beautiful arrangements. Again, this caused him to wondered why this strange man chose to impress him.

Politely, Cross lent a helping hand towards Komui, who was preparing also to sit down. Embarrassed, Komui fumbled with his coat to get his arms out of the sleeves, but stubborn as he was, he declined any help from the aristocrat.

All the while, he could feel Cross's eyes on him. It was slightly unnerving, to say the least; however, Komui did not sense any danger or harm coming from the other man. And so, he tolerated it.

After ordering their choice of appetizers, Cross began conversation, "Is something wrong? You seem to be lost in a daze..."

"Just confused." Komui took a sip of wine before adding, "You confuse me sometimes."

Chuckling lightly, the amused red-head lifted the wine glass to his lips, curling into an amused smile. "How so?"

"I mean, all of a sudden you-" Komui was suddenly distracted by their waiter, coming around the corner. The decent man thought twice about speaking of such things in front of other people.

Therefore, it seemed a perfect time for Cross to jest. After all, he could sense when Komui was feeling shy, and he thoroughly enjoyed pressing him further. Or so it seemed to the disturbed scientist. "All of a sudden I... call you up? Ask you to dinner? Have this sudden urge to meet with you?"

Performing a huffy of annoyance, Komui quickly nodded in reply. To keep himself occupied, the man nibbled on his choice of appetizer.

Their conversing came to a pause when they received their appetizers, then they ordered their food. After both men ordered their choice of main course, the waiter was off towards the back room.

As if respecting the other's wishes, Cross waited patiently for the employee to leave, so that he could continue his explanation. "Let's just say..." Choosing his words carefully, his deep voice softened and slowed. "That this has been long awaited on my part."

"But what is this? I mean, what are you getting out of this?" Komui did not wish to make assumptions about the other, but he could not help his busy mind from wondering. "Is this about the Science Division? You left us years ago, so why-"

"Tch, tch, tch!" Cross waved a hand, as he shushed the others' pointless ramblings. Naturally, this gesture irked Komui, but regardless, he stopped to listen.

"You're not concentrating on being with me, but rather your mind is only focused on work. Besides, it's not that I'm interested in the Science Division, per se..." Thinking before speaking; a mannerism of an aristocrat. Something that, Komui noticed, was a trait that Cross had mastered at all the right times.

"It's more like... I'm interested in YOU, my darling Komui."

As if on cue, the waiter returned to the table, ending their conversation. To lighten the mood, Cross commented on the lovely food, lovely restaurant, and lovely company.

Komui felt confused as to why. He felt ashamed that he said nothing to defend himself. He felt afraid of what next week would bring. He thought that Cross's meeting had some relation to his work, and yet Cross stated the opposite. He felt stunned.

He also began to realize that that one sentence may twist his entire outlook on the next few evenings he spend with Cross Marian.

The excellent meal continued almost rhythmically. Though Komui was distraught over those few words, Cross seemed unaffected. His analyzing red eyes always remained on the other, as if watching or waiting for something.

All the while, Komui tried inwardly to think of something to say. To him, the mood still seemed too intense. But when no words came, he decided to remain silent.

The meal progressed slowly but surely, and their delicious meal came to a close. Cross was first to stand and collect his coat. Asking again for permission to help Komui with his jacket, the shorter man again scooted him away, helping himself.

"Well then, I'll see you next week. I'll send you an e-mail reminder, too. Just in case." Then Cross was off.

Robotically, Komui walked through the darkened streets, which seemed to glow angelically. Stuffing his hands in his coat pockets, his deep, blue eyes stuck on the dirty sidewalk.

He slouched as he walked, but then his appreciation of the beauty of night brought his face to view the sky. Brightening stars spanning across the sky captivated him, and the warm breeze was almost inspirational.

 _But then again,_ Komui thought, hopefully. _This night was no different from any other, right?_

* * *

**Chapter 4: 4 I'll Always Be Here**

* * *

Exhausted and dazed, Komui slumped into his favorite chair; home at last, where he could think, uninterrupted. Life was a puzzle, and at times, Komui felt he needed to stop, take a look at the pieces, then fit together whatever he could.

_I guess this night, or any other night with Cross, could be considered a treat. It's free dinner included, right? And it's not as if Cross is horrible company. He's nice when he wants to be._

_I'm just surprised how seriously he was taking me. He got all dressed up, was good with his manners, brought out the best wine... It was like he was trying to impress me or something._

... _Ugh, "or something?" What is that supposed to mean?_ Komui's restless fingers tampered with a pen on the side table. _I suppose I just don't really know... what to think... Maybe I should just go to sleep. Honestly, that would do everyone a favor, I think._

Komui felt alone. Desperately, he wished for someone to talk to. Someone other than himself. Ironically, he found that at times, there was no better listener than himself.

As if a blessing was sent, a voice could be heard entering the room. Out of instinct, the man thought to hide or run, but when he saw Reever enter, he stopped himself.

"Reever?" Komui had not intended to sound so surprised or enthusiastic, but he felt grateful for the presence of the other. Leaping from his seat, he ran to greet him. "I thought you were asleep already!"

Komui observed Reever near the door. Despite his usual disheveled appearance, he looked like artwork as he stood near the stained-glass windows of the door. The moonlight created a perfect path through the colorful arrangement, gently wrapping the Australian's form in a warm, colorful embrace.

_It's strange to think such things about him, I suppose... Wait a minute, where did THAT come from? I sound like some stupid, twelve-year-old fan girl or something..._

_Wait, "or something?"_

"Me? Asleep? Yeah, right." Slightly surprised by Komui's sudden burst of energy towards him, he backed away. "Least there was no work to finish up. You pretty much did all that yourself today."

Komui was having too much fun toying with his friend, and he pressed on. In his higher, nearly sarcastic tone, he teased, "Were you worried for me, then?"

"Don't joke. You have no idea..." Biting his tongue and cursing at himself inwardly, Reever stopped himself. Ashamed with his behavior, he quickly left towards the door.

Komui's voice lowered to a breathy whisper, "Reever?" He could see that something was making his friend upset, but what hurt him most was that he was unaware of the cause.

"You're okay. You came home a little late, you know, but... just..." His words made little sense to Komui, who was trying hard to translate. Pacing back and forth, as if having an inner argument, Reever at once decided to give up his efforts, when his hand flew from his side to his face in desperation. "Whatever. I don't have time for this. I'm going back to bed."

"Hey, hey! Hold it! I just wanna talk, okay? Don't you want to hear about what happened?" Carelessly, Komui found himself throwing out his heart towards the uncaring listener. "Cross had his mask off, and he said some weird things to me. It was quite creepy, actually."

The more he attempted his friendly conversation, the more unappreciative and impatient Reever became. Unfortunately for both of them, Komui was either too dense or too stubborn to notice.

"Look, Komui," By the colored glass again, Reever placed his hand over the doorknob. Immediately quieting himself, Komui felt almost frightened at the tone of danger in Reever's voice. "I'm tired, and I'm going to bed now. Good night."

The dark-haired man watched helplessly as Reever's dark silhouette vanished down the hall, disappearing from behind that beautiful, stained-glass door.

* * *

**Chapter 5: 5 I'm Looking Forward To Meeting You?**

* * *

Time took its natural course. Days passed, then weeks. And once during each of those weeks, Komui and Cross would have dinner together.

For some reason or another, Cross dedicated one night a week to Komui, to enjoy a meal together. And for some reason, Komui did not refuse.

It became quite apparently to Komui was Cross was in love with him. Cross had not spoken those feelings yet, but Komui feared that it was only a matter of time. Then, what would Komui say in response? Cross had always outwitted him, when it came to words, and it frustrated him.

However, time also had a way of bringing change. Komui had noticed that Reever had not been himself since his first night with Cross. On many occasions, he would approach and ask him, but every time his attempts ended in defeat. Reever would always end their meetings by insulting the other. "You're such a damned moron, Chief."

_It was like the good old days, but not quite. Reever'd always yell at me and call me stupid names. It was all just playful insults. But now..._

_I feel like something's really wrong. And I know it deals with Cross. I'm just afraid that maybe I'm making assumptions about Reever, but I just hope they're not true. I hope he's not..._

Shoving all his worrying thoughts aside, Komui stopped staring aimlessly into the menu to face Cross sitting across from him.

"Spazzing out just now?" The smiling man asked his partner. "I thought you were trying to pick out the perfect meal, but I guess not."

"Wha-? Oh, it's nothing. I think too much, I suppose." Komui tried to laugh his worries away. A sad attempt, he knew, but he tried nonetheless.

Komui had done something new that night, which kept his ego brimming; he was dressed in a suit, wearing nice shoes, and even combed his hair a bit before coming. Ultimately, he felt that he didn't wish to disappoint his host, Cross.

Cross pointed out this new appearance of the other. "Your clothes. They're nice."

"Er, these? Well, they're not really all that nice, actually." Shoving the compliments aside, the embarrassed Komui shrugged. "I just feel... different for some reason. But not just how I'm dressed. I'm thinking that somewhere along the lines, I've changed. Perhaps I'm not making any sense... I apologize."

Taking in a breath, Cross knitted his fingers together, gently resting his chin. "There is something that I think I should let you be aware of. On our first night out, you were not dressed very properly, and your mind was stuck on work. Now all of a sudden, you're coming in with nicer clothes, and your mind is stuck on... me. Am I wrong?"

Komui felt his heart squeeze, upon hearing these words. Every word rang true, so why did it feel wrong?

"My dear, Komui... I believe that what you appear to be on the outside," Cross reached across the table to place a fingertip over Komui's pounding heart, "is exactly what kind of change you're feeling on the inside, at this point..."

_No... No, please don't say anything more. Just stop._

"You're wondering where this change came about? Surely someone as smart as you could figure that one out. At first, you felt nothing for me, but after a while, you slowly began to-"

_STOP!_

Komui did not want to hear another word escape those smirking lips. He did not want to hear the words, "fall for me." And so, he silently stood from the table, threw his coat on, and left the restaurant.

* * *

_Goodness, this really is becoming quite a soap opera, isn't it? I'm so sorry, everyone! Thank you for your tolerance!_

_I hope this chapter wasn't too confusing...  
_

* * *

**Chapter 6: 6 All in a Perfect Moment**

* * *

That week, Komui Lee took a week's worth of sick time off. The puzzles were becoming too overwhelming for him to bear, and so, even though he was not necessarily sick, he still felt that mentally he was.

In a way, that sort of thinking brought him a sense of justice and peace of mind.

Komui was lying in his bed, emptily gazing into his full tea cup. It was interesting to see how the liquid could distort anything it reflected. Even his own face changed, through the eyes of the cup, so to speak.

Shortly stopping his rambling mind, the charcoal-haired man laughed at his own insanity. _Maybe I'm thinking too deeply about things. I mean, It's just a cup._

_And you know what; maybe this whole situation is just a small thing. First of all, it's not like Cross actually said he loved me. Maybe he still has some ulterior motive with this. And maybe he's succeeding! Just look at me!_

_And second of all, Reever-_

Reever.

Komui then did the first thing that came to mind; call in Reever.

While he waited impatiently for his visitor to arrive, he inadvertently played with the blankets. It felt soft between his fingers, and comfort was a luxury.

Minutes later, his "ever-enthusiastic" partner entered the room, looking confused. "Komui? You're not really sick, are you?"

"Uh..." Komui patted the chair beside him, to gesture so that his friend would sit beside him.

"So, what? You bored? Why'd you call me?"

"I just... want to talk."

Unimpressed, Reever looked over at the empty seat before commenting, "And you want me to sit there and listen?"

"Well..." Komui sighed a little, as he reconsidered his plans. "No, maybe that's not it. I'm just worried about you. I want YOU to talk, and I want to sit and listen."

"I'm doing fine, mom. And hey, I'm not the dumbass that called in sick for a week." Reever defensively shot at Komui. But despite the harsh words he spat, he took Komui's offer to sit beside him.

For some reason or another, the "sick man" laughed, "Yes, well." Slowly pouring a cup of tea for the guest, he shifted a glance towards the blond man. As always, Reever seemed nonchalant and uncaring. But behind that cold facade, Komui could see a concerned, very kind friend.

And in that moment, Komui wondered why he chose to use that facade to shield himself from him.

Gratefully, Reever grabbed his warm cup and took a swallow. "So, what do you want me to say?"

"Just talk, please. I hate seeing you sad." _Wow, THAT didn't sound awkward._

Reever groggily sighed and threw his head back in annoyance. "I'm not sayin' nothing. And if there's any reason that I'm upset right now, it's because of Cross."

"That was a given, I'm afraid."

"He's more trouble than he's worth, you know."

"Yes... I suppose... so." When Komui's troubled mind began to form a blank, his eyes turned to the floor.

_Why? Why do I feel so tired? Is this Cross's doing? Is it so emotionally draining for me to be with him? If so, then why do I keep going to him?_

_Reever's right. He's always right, and he's always been right here for me... Like family. So why do I ignore him and continue doing something that I know could potentially hurt him? And not only him, but Cross could get hurt, and I could get hurt._

Komui's train of thought was stopped by a moist stream of tears running down his cheek. Motionless, he stared at the tear that landed on his fisted hand and gaped at it, as if wondering how it got there.

Komui began to weep unashamedly.

Abruptly, the overloaded man threw himself into Reever's lap, sobbing. Wrapping his arms around the bigger man, Komui dug his fingers into Reever's warm back.

At first, Reever did nothing. He said nothing, but did not hold Komui back from his desires. As he could see his friend's heart shatter, he knew that he needed to act. Carefully, he put his arms around the trembling figure, hoping to be a source of comfort to him.

Drawing back momentarily, Komui could see that he was drenching the others' shirt, and he immediately apologized, "I-I'm sorry! But I think..." Between gulps of air and sniffing in, he managed, "I just want you... to stay here."

"Whatever. Just don't get me sick, okay? I have work to do, you know."

Komui's broken face momentarily attempted a teary smile at the others' sarcastic remarks, but upon failing once more, he hid his face in shame.

The golden-eyed man placed a large hand on the back of Komui's head, bringing their bodies in a closer embrace. With his fingers gently pressing the head into his broad shoulder, he tenderly stroked Komui's soft hair.

Gratefully, Komui savored everything he could in that moment; the warmth of Reever's body, his scent, and his breathing. Across his chest, Komui could even feel Reever's quickening heart pulsing against his skin. Everything was beautiful.

It was then in that perfect moment that Komui cursed at himself, "I must be one selfish bastard."

* * *

**Chapter 7: 7 You're a Strange One**

* * *

Their next outing was an odd one. After Komui's sick vacation time was spent, he had another meeting with Cross, which was two weeks later.

Normally very calm, the fine aristocrat seemed to be indulging in his alcohol, intoxicating himself. Perhaps Cross, too, also had his share of struggles? But Komui felt that it was none of his business, and therefore was uninterested.

Komui watched in disgust as Cross took another few gulps of his alcoholic drink. "Cross?"

"Yes, my love?" Even his speech was becoming slurred. Clearly, it showed through his choice of words that he was not in his right mind.

"I'm not your love." Clarifying for the second time that night, Komui attempted to continue, "But I think that you should stop drinking and start eating something instead."

Red eyes faced the wine, then faced Komui. "I'm... You're... my love."

"I don't think you mean what you say. Now please, eat some." Komui pushed the plate of meat in front of the man.

"Feed me."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"'F you FEED me, then I'll eat!" Slurred the drunken man.

As if speaking to a small, unruly child, Komui tried to talk his way out of the situation. "You're not a child. I don't need to feed-"

Frustrated, Cross grabbed Komui's slender hand in his own, and skillfully took a fork in the hand of the other. The startled other gently attempted to push Cross away, but his strength was superior.

"Cross, stop it." Carefully controlling his volume, Komui shook Cross's hand, hoping to release the grip. After another failed attempt, Komui stared directly into his eyes, not moving his glance away for a second. He wanted to prove that he, too, had a strong will.

Cross's face showed stubbornness, then hesitation, and then he sat back down on his seat.

Content, Komui took back his fork and began to take a bite out of his potatoes. The warm mush quickly melted in his mouth, but it only took a moment for him to realize that the salt was missing. "Pass the salt, please."

Nothing. No response from the other man.

Again, Komui asked, "Salt, please."

The dark-haired man felt movement from under the table. Exasperated, he blissfully ignored the action, but when he felt Cross's leg wrap around his own, his sigh caught in a squeak.

"Stop that! Don't!" _Ah, I wish my face wouldn't get so red!_ He reached for the offending leg to pull it away, but the quicker man only brought them closer.

"Komui... I love you..."

"No, you don't! Ngah! L-Let go of me!"

"How could you... doubt my love for you..." As if hurt, Cross began to move away from the relieved Komui.

"Because you're drunk, and you have no idea what you're saying."

Cross's usually very prim-and-proper attitude melted away, as he half-sulked across the table. Paying him no mind, Komui only ate his meal faster. _The sooner I finish, the sooner I leave!_

"I wish... I could make you love me somehow." Honesty. Purity. Clarity. The words and how Cross said them almost made Komui's heart melt. It almost made him believe that, genuinely, Cross meant what he said. "You're so beautiful and smart and mature and kind..."

"Cross," Stopping their conversation was the smart thing to do, and intelligence was Komui's strong point. "I have to go home now. It's late."

"Oh." The drunken man's rambling speech stopped, obeying Komui's orders. "Bye bye. I'll see you next week, right?"

"As far as I know, yes." Collecting his things, perhaps quicker than usual, Komui turned to the door, yet stopped to hear Cross's farewell.

"'Kay. Night. I love you."

"I lo... Tch, good night."

* * *

_Poor drunken Cross... I wonder if he even knows how to get home... Wait, "home?"  
_

* * *

**Chapter 8: 8 Mistakes of a Fogged Mind**

* * *

The following week, it was apparent that Cross was trying to make up for last week's date. Komui was brought to one of the most beautiful restaurant's he had ever been to.

As a matter of fact, their dinner was out on a deck of a moonlit riverside. The waters below were calming and created a lovely serene atmosphere that Komui thoroughly enjoyed.

To Komui's surprise and part delight, Cross did not order any alcoholic drinks. _Thank god! I'm safe for tonight!_

Or so he thought.

Dinner was lovely, but afterwards, Cross stopped Komui to speak with him.

Both men were alone on the deck, with no company other than the calming sounds of the river and the warm breeze of summer.

"Beloved Komui," Cross began bluntly. "In regards to our relationship... I believe it's best we be honest with each other, because we haven't gotten to do so in a while."

"I don't really want to hear it. Besides, I think I heard enough from you; drunk last week."

Completely disregarding the statement, Cross continued the speech, "I'm in love with you."

Komui felt that familiar tug again on his heart and stomach. He hated when Cross would speak so...

As if closing in on his prey, Cross's body lurched forward, locking Komui between his arms and the table. The stunned Komui felt the warm touch, when Cross's wandering fingers began moving around his arms to his back to embrace him.

Those once soft, feathery fingers began to feel rough against his clothes, and Komui felt fear. "Ah! Uhn..."

"Shh..." Cross hushed softly; his voice quiet and deep. "I love you."

Suddenly, Cross swooped down to claim his prize, lifting the trembling Komui from his feet to move him on top of the table. All the while, those hands kept the other man from running away.

Wondering whether or not the table was going to hold his weight, Komui tried to use that as an excuse to move, but Cross, ever-forceful, refused.

Over and over, he repeated, "I love you, I love you." And over and over, Komui was forced to listen.

Done with the mere foreplay, Cross moved his hands towards Komui's shirt buttons. To Cross's delight and surprise, Komui did nothing to stop him. And so one by one, the aristocrat relished in every moment, as more and more flesh was visible to him.

Lazily tossing the shirt onto the chair, Cross then turned all his attention to the bare chest before him. He placed a hot hand right up again Komui's heart, then satisfactorily paused to listen to the accelerated pulse.

On the cold, hard table, Komui's eyes looked up to the open night sky, rather than Cross. Those blue eyes closed, as if wincing in pain, as he could feel Cross's fingers circling around the pulsating organ.

"You're so beautiful. You have no idea how much I love you." From above him, he could hear Cross vow.

"Hnn...!" Komui's eyes snapped open as the aristocrat's body moved closer to his own. Temperature rose as Cross nestled his face in Komui's bare neck. Komui felt Cross's eyelids shut, then flicker like the wings of a butterfly. It tickled him, yet it only caused him to shiver once more.

As Komui's body became limp with fear, Cross took that right moment to reach out and take physical possession. With his fingers around Komui's chin, Cross firmly pressed his lips against Komui's.

The terrified man gasped then moaned loudly. Inside his mouth, he felt Cross's tongue against his teeth, as if asking permission. But when nothing stopped him, he entered with full force, his tongue stretching as far as it could down Komui's tightening throat.

Seemingly, minutes went by before Cross retreated from his prey. Above Komui's mouth, Cross lingered before swooping down to collect more fleeting, lusty kisses.

As he broke away, Cross gently nibbled on Komui's trembling, wet lips. "Beautiful." He whispered yet again.

Komui whimpered lightly, and then cried out when Cross's hips grinded into his own. He felt his voice get caught in his throat, and he could feel goose bumps layer his hot skin.

 _My body is betraying me. It's ENJOYING this._ His fogged mind then snapped back into the seriousness of this situation.

But before he had his chance to release himself from the hold, a voice caused both men to pause their actions. "I'm here to pick up Komui. Figured he was taking too long tonight."

They turned, and in the doorway stood Reever, lazily leaning against the wall.

"R... Reever..." Komui felt as if his entire being melted upon seeing that man in the doorway. _Are you here to save me?_

Doing as the other wished, Cross let go of Komui, also handing him back his shirt. "Off you go." Cross patted Komui's rear end, earning him a squeak of alert. Then he left the restaurant.

As Komui tried standing, he lost balance and wavered for a moment. Hastily, he buttoned his shirt back up, as well as slipping on his jacket and hat.

Lost in a dazed trance, he nearly ran into Reever on the way out the doorway. Neither male said a word to the other. Each was lost in their entanglement of inner thoughts and feelings.

Komui glanced his tired eyes at Reever, who seemed to be taking the situation nonchalantly. But as he looked closer, he noticed that his body was shaking. Was that anger or fear?

But even after noticing, he said nothing. He merely walked on, because that was all he could do.

* * *

**Chapter 9: 9 I Was Waiting So Long**

* * *

Time took its natural course. A few days passed, and yet both men, too shy or afraid, said nothing to each other.

Well aware of the mistakes that he made, Komui did not dare to do anything to further upset Reever. He also seemed aware that time was quickly passing, but he wondered how much more of it would be wasted, until either man spoke up.

As the nights drove by, Komui found himself lying awake in his bed; anticipating what was to come, fearing for change, hoping for healing...

To his dismay, he also received another e-mail from Cross, directing him on their next outing. Fear forced Komui to leave the message unreplied to.

But during all of these trials, the learned Komui felt that fear alone was his enemy. Not Cross, or even Reever. Without taming such an emotion, he could not win.

_How cliche... Am I the depressed hero, trying to win a battle against myself?_

Another matter of which he felt he needed to give more thought and feeling into was decision. Cross was an ally and good-natured towards Komui. But he also had a careless spirit that could cause trouble; one which Komui unexpectedly whirled into.

On the other hand, Reever had always supported Komui in the dangerous times. He felt that, no matter the circumstances, Reever was an irreplaceable family member. But because of their foundation of friendship, it almost felt awkward for Komui to think of Reever as anything more.

As the dark-haired man brainstormed, he couldn't help but laugh in reminiscence. "Reever always beats me up, too. I don't know why, but I actually kind of enjoy that."

Komui found himself thinking aloud, as he often did. He lay back flat on the mattress, his hands folded neatly on his chest. Slowly, his soft smile faltered a little, as his thoughts became too distant. "I guess... I miss it."

He felt the sad situation was unavoidable, and so the restless man decided to brew some tea.

Stepping off into the small kitchen area, he lazily set the teapot on the stove, lit the burner, and then turned towards the cupboard to collect a suitable cup for the occasion.

His business was suddenly interrupted by the alarming sound of the phone ringing.

 _I'm not picking it up. I don't know what crazy person would call so late._ He thought, stubbornly.

The ringing continued.

_If you want to leave a message, feel free._

The ringing stopped. Then the teapot screamed, reminding Komui of its presence.

The hot tea was enjoyable, but without one to share it with, it seemed quite lonely. After all, he was used to eating his meals with someone else.

As Komui took another sip, he enjoyed savoring the exotic flavors slide down his throat. Tea was very comforting. It seemed to melt the very worries from his mind...

There was an unexpected knock at the door. Komui froze for a moment to ponder about his sanity. But when the knocking started back up, Komui found no reason to stay put.

"Coming!" And so, teacup in hand, he ventured towards the visitor.

As soon as he discovered who his visitor was, he nearly shut the door again. "Reever? It's late, what're you doing?"

_Why now? Are you crazy? ...As crazy as I am?_

The taller man shrugged in the doorway. "Called, but you didn't answer. I just kinda... thought you'd be awake."

Maintaining his professionalism, Komui offered a drink to his guest, to which Reever declined. "I'm only going to be here for a minute. I just want to make a deal with you."

For some reason, the statement scared Komui. "Reever, I'd rather not..."

After speaking, Komui was shocked at how hesitant and afraid he was reacting. And it disgusted him. He wished for confidence. And so he took a breath, cleared his mind, then allowed his friend to continue.

Reever continued, "Of all the nights out you've had with him, I demand something from you."

Komui took a sip from his tea, which he noticed was slowly running out. _If I lose my tea, I lose my perfect distraction. Which means that I'll be forced to look at his face. Why is that so hard for me?_

"Kiss me. Just one kiss. If not, then go out to dinner with me tomorrow night." Plainly, Reever spoke. It was the confidence and sincerity that forced Komui to look into the speakers eyes.

Drawing back, Komui said nothing, but merely turned his ashamed eyes towards Reever's feet.

"Komui, I could probably rant on and on here, like some sappy soap opera. But really, I just want to kiss you. Is that okay? Even if you don't kiss me back, that's fine. I'll get over it."

_Such a soft tone of voice... I thought he'd yell at me, but..._

_Why? Why would you do this to me?_

_Perhaps... that's a rhetorical question, isn't it?_

"Reever," Komui started, taking a breath. "Please sit."

Komui noticed Reever watch, as he gestured towards the couch beside him.

"You have a thing for making me sit down or something?" Reever jested, almost normally.

Komui laughed. "Well, you seem so tense all the time! You're always standing, and you deserve a break!" Having said that, Komui bolted towards the kitchen to grab some tea for the other.

"Coming from someone who's ALWAYS on break."

"Rude, rude! Very rude!" The statement was added by a smile, as Reever - despite words - sat on the couch.

_Now that I think of it, I wonder why I like to have him sit with me. We don't usually say too much, but maybe it's not really the words that matter? Or something like that._

After preparing Reever's tea, Komui also filled up his own cup before he sat beside his friend.

_Maybe it's his presence._

... _Maybe I should tell him this._

"Reever, your presence makes me happy."

"Izzat so?"

"Yes. I don't know why, but I really do like having you sit next to me like this." _It's weird. But that's a difference between you and Cross. You calm me, but Cross makes me feel... jumpy all the time._

"Well, that's... nice. I guess I, you know, kinda feel the same way...? I mean, you know I love you."

"Yes, I do." _Another difference between you and Cross. You love me._

_I know you would never abandon me._

_You may not always seem it, but I know you will always continue to support me._

_You will always be my source of warmth and comfort._

_You're not very good with words all the time, but I can tell, just by being with you, exactly how you feel._

_All these things I took for granted. All these things I had shamefully abandoned in my search for happiness, when all along, I had you. And for that, I'm truly sorry, my friend._

"K-Komui? What's-? If you start crying again, I'm seriously going to-"

"No, no! Don't leave... I think that... I really do want to spend more time with you."

_Me and Cross have a meet tomorrow night... But I don't think that really matters all that much._

* * *

**Chapter 10: 10 Final EMail From You**

* * *

_Ding ding!_

_An e-mail for me?_ Komui thought, hopefully, as he strode by his computer desk.

Subject: Thank You

Sender: Cross Marian

"First of all, don't worry. I'm not mad that you didn't show up at our meet. I know how much of a worry-wart you are, but fear not."

"Next, I want you to know that it's your choice. I know you may no longer want to spend as much time with me, and now I feel well-aware of who you have decided to choose. Perhaps spending time with Reever is more important to you...?"

"However, if I am mistaken, send me a reply. If not, I'll assume your decision has already been."

"Also, I wanted to let you know firsthand, Komui dear... I will be leaving soon. I have other matters to attend to, you see, and I won't have a reason to stick around any longer, considering that we will no longer be meeting."

"I want you to deicide. Either spend another night with me, or go with him. It's your choice, and I won't hold you back."

"Thank you for the lovely opportunity to be with you. And I'm glad that this situation helped you to grow. Finally, you can figure things out for yourself, am I right?"

-Cross

And therefore, Cross disappeared once more; only to return if Komui sent him that fateful e-mail.

That e-mail was left unresponded to.


End file.
